My ego feels as bad as my back...

So....lifting went really shitty today.  I'll post a couple of videos to prove it....in case you don't believe me.  I was going to push myself a bit to see where I am with things realistically...not 1RM or anything...but just really grit a couple things out.  This is important to me for a couple of reasons: 1) to see what I'm working with having taken 6 months off and 2) I have to be able to push myself when I don't have Mark or my friends around to watch me.  My ego doesn't want to believe that I've become that weak and it doesn't want to be the one that's seen squatting a baby weight (as I refer to it).

About 3 lifts into the day something tweaked in my lower back and there wasn't really much I could do after that.  I tried to push through and do a few more reps, but it just wasn't happening.  I video taped a couple and I am so wobbly.  The weight doesn't feel that heavy to me, but just looking at my form ... it's no bueno.  I did a couple C and J's at 35 lbs...and that was easy.  I video taped a C and J at 45 lbs and that's when my back felt like crap.  I initially didn't think I could even do that weight, but after video review...its not pretty...but I don't even really have to drop down that much to get under it for the jerk.  I did one more C and J at 45lbs with MUCH better form after that, but no video for that one unfortunately.

I switched over to back squat, thinking that it would be less tiresome on my back.  The video I took shows me doing 65 lbs.  It, again, didn't feel that bad, but my left leg compensates a lot for my right one in the video.  Which is odd?  I would think that my left would be weaker.

I decided to run on the treadmill so the rest of the trip to the gym wasn't a waste.  I was pleasantly surprised at how easy that felt.  I am not a runner and I have always hated doing it, but today felt pretty good.  Yay endurance!! :)  I did 20 mins - alternating sprinting and jogging.

So....I guess the moral of the story is that I have to accept the fact that I will have to start light and it's going to take me time to get back to where I was.  I am worried, especially today after being upset about it, that it's going to be very hard to do this on my own.  I get discouraged sooooo easily.

I'll probably have to take a couple days off to make sure I'm on the mend, but maybe Sunday I can back and front squat a little?  We'll see how it goes.

Goals

I've had a couple of days to think about my goals for the new year so I'm going to detail those below, but before I do let me recap what I've been up to as far as working out:

Tuesday 1/8/13:  Vinyasa  Power Yoga (1 hr)

• Back on Black Friday, Power Yoga Chicago ran a deal where you could do unlimited yoga for $59/mo for up to one year - cancel at any time.  This seemed to good to pass up because if I went more than 3 times a month that paid for itself.  Yay!
• Let me first start off and say that I hated yoga initially. Have you ever done HOT yoga?!  During my first experience I thought I might choke on the moisture in the air and I practically had a panic attack that I would pass out during class and everyone would think I was a huge loser.  Am I over-dramatic? Yes, of course.  That was April, and now here I am in January of the following year and I like it more all the time.  I still HATE the feeling of that much sweat on my skin, but I always feel so good after I leave class that I get over it.  :)  
• Class gets easier all the time so I must be doing something right.  Let me just foreshadow to below where I talk about my goals that my abs are a focus.  That said, I notice that when I go to yoga and eat paleo that my abs seem flatter and more defined all the time.  This makes me happy! 

Wednesday 1/9/13: Conviction (45 mins)

• So, I got to the gym tonight and I ran onto an old friend from WCCF that I hadn't seen in months.  I got side tracked talking to her and by the time I was done the platforms were taken.  I was going to mess around with some weights, but I will do that tomorrow and give myself another day of rest on the squats.  I am still very sore from Monday night.
• I need to charge my iPod.  #wowIgetboredeasily
• Here's what I did: 
• Row:  I love to row.  I did a little bit tonight just to warm up.  I'm not sure exactly how many minutes I went but I know that my average time for 500m splits was around 2:30.  That's "average" speed when I'm not racing the person next to me.  When I really pushed it I can get it down to about 2:05 and I can maintain that for a while before I need to back it down a bit.  
• Russian Kettlebell Swings:  I did 45 of these (3 x 15) with the 16kg kettlebell.  Nothing unusual to report here, other than a couple really stupid people walked behind me while I was doing them. 

Okay, so on to my goals.  I have some fitness ones, but also some life ones, too.

1) Goal #1 is to be less stressed. For those of you who don't know, I recently took a new job.  Just the nature of my previous position lended itself to making me stressed out.  This new position - I'm sure isn't without stress - but just a different, less intense type. In general I need to do things that make me happy and don't do things (if I can avoid them) that lead to stress.  I have always tended to be a person who does for other people and really thinks about doing for myself last.  I'm going to have to actively try to do things for myself this year and not be as concerned about the other stuff.  

2) Go on vacation.  I made a promise to myself that I would start putting a stamp in my passport every year after I went to Costa Rica in 2010.  Last year, Mark and I went to Hong Kong.  Who knows where this year will lead me, but I have a list of places that I'd like to start tackling.  Tops on my list:  Italy, Greece, Brazil, Turkey and Egypt (<-- I won't be there for a looooong time, but maybe one day.)  

3)  Abs.  I'm this close to flattening them out.  I may be a little consumed with this, but what a long way I've come in a year with this?? :)  Paleo, strength work, yoga, and some cardio ....its made a huge difference.  I will probably need to adjust my diet a little bit and maybe do another 30 strict days without dairy, but we'll see how it goes now that I'm going to be lifting again.  It's easy enough to do now if I need to.  

4) DRINK MORE WATER.  This was a goal last year and I can't really say that I made much progress with it.  I honestly do not drink much but water, but I don't drink enough of it.  Between chai lattes (I know, I know) and a little bit of whole milk, all I drink is water.  I constantly find myself feeling thirsty and I know that's a bad thing.  I should be drinking proactively, not re-actively.  Must. do. better. with. this.  

5) Okay and for my last goal...squat my body weight.  I'm guessing this is going to be a lot easier to do being 20 - 25 lbs lighter than I was last year.  I will be figuring out here soon where I stand with squats and then I'll start working towards this.  The last time I knew my "1RM" I could front squat about 50kg or 110 lbs and I was back squatting very similarly.  I doubt these were true numbers because I could do them pretty easily.  I think this should be attainable pretty soon, actually.  :)  

As promised, I will do the pictures soon-ish and if I think of anything else I'd like to add then I'll explain that out. 

Thanks for reading. :)

A Year's Worth of Changes

Tonight was my first trip to Conviction Fitness in Lincoln Square....in other words my first time lifting weights since July.  I had no expectations about how things would go.  Luckily for me a couple of friends showed up at the same time and that decreased some of my "first time" anxieties.  

I did a pretty light workout because I didn't want to push myself too hard and get hurt.  

Hang Snatch:  5 x 17lbs, 5 x 21lbs, 5 x 27 lbs, 5 x 34 lbs

• These felt pretty good, but shit, what a kick to my ego that I have to start at like half of where I was lifting before?  A look back at my WCCF book says that I maxed out at around 33 kg's which is almost 70 lbs. 
• What I did tonight wasn't a 1RM at all, so I wonder what I could really do if I pushed myself.....maybe 50 lbs?  That's not so bad when I put it into perspective.
• Snatching, even from the hang, felt good.  I was worried I might have lost this a bit, but it was more like riding a bike.  Yay!

Hang Clean:  We were supposed to use 75 - 80% of our 1RM.  When I was in the swing of things I was doing around 45kg or 100lbs.  Yeah, there was no way that I could really come close to 75% of that.  I did a couple of sets pretty light, no more than 40 lbs.  It wasn't that heavy but my form didn't feel right.  I know I was chasing the bar out in front of me a bit like I used to do.  

After sitting here on the couch for a while and assessing my soreness I know that I wasn't coming up from my squats using the right muscles.  I'm sore in the quads, not up the back of my legs as much.  Something to work on for next time.  :)  

Push Press:  I did 3 x 10 sets at 27 lbs.  I am not sure off the top of my head what my 1RM is on this one, but I would guess it was around 35kgs.  So again, working at about half.  

• These felt good, challenging, but good. 

Tomorrow I think I'll go yoga and give myself a day to be sore.  I think the goal will be to lift at least 3 or 4 times a week and try to do yoga on my off-days.  I looked at the kickboxing program tonight, but it seemed not what I'm used to.  The 2 girls in class were off to the side doing their own thing and I thought that was sorta weird....maybe they were new?  I surely hope so.

Paleo is back on and that's going fine.  I don't feel like I need to detail that as much.  It's not hard to do anymore.  Working from home means I won't be tempted to eat out and I can make whatever I want.  

I know in my last post before Christmas I detailed my last measurements.  Right before the holidays I hit my lowest weight of 130 lbs.  <-- Yes, that is not a typo.  I never thought I would be 135, let alone 130.  Taking a break from paleo over the holidays was a good thing but when I realized that I had "gained" 6 lbs I was freaking out a bit.  In typical fashion, I probably overreacted because a couple of days of better eating and I was back to 133.  

I'm not sure in what posts I wrote goals from last year, but from the ones I can remember I didn't do so bad.  Push-ups happened and making progress on lifts happened.  I also discovered a bunch of other things I liked....kickboxing and yoga. I do miss Crossfitting...there's really nothing like the feeling I have after I finish a WOD that kicks my butt.  I may have to do some dropping in at WCCF occasionally.  I also discovered during the year that I loved kickboxing.  I hope that I can find a way to work that in sometimes because I feel like it was a good way to relieve some stress.  I'm glad to be back lifting again...losing strength felt weird.  I'm continuing to do yoga and I'm really liking that.  Paleo has gotten easy.  I do need to work more on drinking water and taking vitamins.  I haven't been very disciplined with that stuff.  

I'll work on my list of goals for this year and try to update with some pictures.  As nervous as those make me to post, I've always gotten a bunch of encouraging responses from them so its not so bad.  

Until next time!!

Results Update

So who wouldn't like an update about how things are going with my year of changes?  :)  I know that I have not been keeping up with this very well, but I hope that I can get inspired to write again.  Maybe what I'm about to share will be enough?? It's pretty crazy to think about where I was in January when I look back at the old posts.

I have been kickboxing since August and I would obviously credit any of these additional changes to that and also this past month of paleo that I'm about to wrap up.  I'm looking forward to the end of having to be 100% strict.  However, it is easier to eat this way and cheating leads to a slippery slope.  Prior to this month I was hovering right about 138 lbs and I had been there since the summer, which means that I've knocked off about 5 lbs this month from diet alone.  I was sick for a week and I missed another week of kickboxing due to working late.  I'll be going much more this upcoming month as I've really missed it.  Mark and I went to class yesterday and it felt really good (even though I ended up with crazy bruises).

Here we go...

Upper Arms (at bicep, relaxed):

• Left: 11"     /     10.75" /     10.75"  /  9.75"
• Right: 11"     /     11" /        10.75"   /  10"

Waist (at belly button):

• 33"      /      28.5"   /          28"   /   27.5"

Waist (at narrowest point):

• 28"     /     26.25"/    26"   / 25.75"

Hips:

• 41.5"     /     39" /   39"    / 37.5"

Legs (mid-thigh, relaxed):

• Left:   23"     /     21.75"/      21"  /  20.75"
• Right:  23"     /     21.75"/     20.25"  / 20.5"

Waist to Hip Ratio:

• .67      /      .67     /    .66  /  .68

Weight:

• 152.4     /   145/  140.2   /  133.6  <-- I haven't weighed this since college! 

Control

Why is it that the only stations that seem appealing on Pandora are Monster Ballads and REO Speedwagon?  I get so stuck on certain things sometimes....what I order at restaurants....what things I "can" wear together....etc.  Sometimes I feel like I behave that way out of a need to have consistency and control.  I "know" what it will be like and I won't have to worry that I don't like it.  Maybe?  

That's part of the reason that I'm back doing paleo again for the next 30 days.  Of all the things that happen in life that you have absolutely no control over.  I can choose to be successful at it or I can choose to fuck it up.  Either way....its all on me.  Its much easier this time around, however.  I know what to expect.  I know what paleo things I like to eat.  Its just a matter of planning ahead and doing it.  So far I haven't really been too motivated to try a new recipe, but I need to push myself to eat a variety of things and to not get stuck on how freakin' amazing hamburgers with avocado are.  (Geez, that sounds really good right now!) I did notice that Halloween candy seemed especially tempting today.  There are a

I didn't weigh myself last Monday when I started, but I did this morning.  One week into things and I'm 136.6.  If I had to guess I'm a couple pounds lighter maybe?  I've noticed that my clothes seem bigger - again.  I would just like to point out that the goal here is not to be gross skinny, but to finally do away with fat in some places.  I can put weight back on - in the form of muscle - when I start Crossfitting/Oly lifting again.  I should really try to do some before and afters again this round to track changes.  I'll try to do that this week. 

There are a lot of other things I'd like to blog about so stay tuned for those. 

Blog Name Change

8/27/12: I actually started making this post last week and forgot to finish it.  So the first part is from last week and then a little from today. 

Paleo Update:

I was *very* well-behaved last week with food until Saturday when I knew I was going to be in a carb-fest situation.  After having pizza on Saturday night there was about a 16 hour period following that where I was "off the wagon."  Sunday morning we went to Wildberry and I had eggs benedict and then in the afternoon I had a piece of cheesecake.  By dinner I was feeling crappy and I decided it was time to go back on.  Weekend weight: 140.8 lbs.

Kickboxing Update:

I've been doing this for about 4 weeks now - just one night a week. I may move to 2 nights a week shortly, but I always feel that my legs are still sore from kicking or being kicked from Monday to Wednesday so I usually skip it.  I think that overall, I'm doing okay, but I get frustrated with myself really quickly.   

Thursday night I did class again.  I feel like things are going somewhat better, but sometimes when I punch my wrists hurt.  Not badly, but just annoyingly. 

Okay...so here's some completely unexpected news.  As you read up there I was 140.8 last weekend.  I weighed myself this morning and I was 136.6!  What?!  How did that happen?!  I have no idea! According to my math that makes me about 17 lbs lighter than January 1.  I'll probably try to do pics/measurements again.  Also, I think I'll stick with kickboxing for a little bit and then return to Crossfit asap. 

Vitamins and Lab Meat (<-- Yuck)

Because of some of my recent reading I've begun wondering if I'm vitamin deficient.  I have definitely struggled with my vegetable intake even though its improved.  While we were at Sam's Club on Saturday I went to the vitamin aisle and picked out a Women's Active pack.  Its basically a little cocktail of vitamins to promote girl stuff and energy.  Vitamin Link  I also got a Niacin tab to support my breakdown of carbohydrates.  Obviously, I haven't had enough time to notice any differences as I've only taken it for 2 days, but hopefully I will be able to report on this by the middle of next month or so.  This morning, I also took a fish oil tab because I'm unsure if I'm getting enough Omega 3 fats.  I believe, ideally, it should be a 1:1 ratio of omega 3 vs. 6 (the bad fat).  Don't get me wrong, I think I need to do better with the veggies, but I figure supplementing it can't hurt in the meantime.

I seem to be very tired lately - aka accidental 3 hour naps - even after I'm "rested."  My hair seems to be less brittle, but I can't attribute that to diet at all.  I got a better haircut and I've been treating it with a hair mask often to try to reduce my split ends.  That seems to be working.  If you've expereienced the same thing then you might like:  Moroccan Oil  I got a little kit with sample sizes in it and I gotta say that the hype is true.  Love this stuff and I will definitely get more of it as needed.  Back to the point of this paragraph, I'm hoping that I will see improvement/continued improvement with these things and perhaps with my skin, too.  It is beyond annoying to me that I'm almost 30 and I still deal with breakout issues all. the. time.  :\ 

I was going to talk about some other random things, but this article just caught my eye:  Lab Meat
That is the absolute most disgusting thing I have ever heard of.  Never will you catch me eating meat made in a lab!!! Blah!!!